Any loyal owner can just hear these thoughts in their dog….



1. Blaming your farts on me… NOT funny!

2. Yelling at me for barking… I’m a DOG, you idiot!

3. How you naively believe that the stupid cat isn’t all over everything while you’re out of the house. (Have you never noticed that your toothbrush smells like kitty litter?)

4. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out.  Exactly whose walk is this, anyway?

5. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose… just STOP it!

6. How you act disgusted when I lick myself.  Look, we both know the truth – your are just jealous!

7. Dog sweaters.  Have you noticed that I have fur?

8. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons.  Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you’re not home.

9. Taking me to the vet’s for “the big snip,” then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back.

10. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw.  You fooled a dog!  What a proud moment for the someone at the top of the food chain!